Pull metrics from Jira, GitHub, or your timesheets:
“You want me to entertain the team, close deals fast , and keep the vibes immaculate? Cool. Then hire me — or give me that raise. 💰 eng hire me fuck me give me a raise fast f hot
Take the “F Lifestyle” approach:
The “F” is the fun part. Once you get hired or raised, don’t just save the money. with the same rigor as your code. Pull metrics from Jira, GitHub, or your timesheets:
| Objection | Your Comeback | |-----------|----------------| | “Budget cycles are annual.” | “Can we do a spot bonus or title change now, then revisit base pay in 3 months?” | | “You need to wait 6 months.” | “What specific KPI can I hit in 4 weeks to accelerate that?” | | “We can’t match that.” | “Then can you approve overtime, a project stipend, or a 3-month trial raise?” | 💰 Take the “F Lifestyle” approach: The “F”
Never ask for a raise without data. Use tools like Glassdoor, PayScale, or LinkedIn Salary Insights to find the average rate for your role in your specific city.
As Sloane reaches the top, she realizes the "Raise" has a ceiling. To stay there, she has to decide if she’s willing to become the very monster she set out to disrupt. The climax takes place at a high-stakes gala where one final, "fast" move could either make her the CEO or land her in federal prison.